… one bite at a time. I hate that expression because I love elephants, but the sentiment rings true in my life right now.
A “wintry mix” of freezing rain and sleet hit the coffee shop’s sandwich board, slowly erasing the “Think Spring” floral illustration. It has been a manic March, a confusion of seasons, and I’m not sure how I have landed here. Not how I landed at the coffee shop. That part was clear. I wanted coffee, the specialty doughnut (#treatyourself), and to nestle into the cozy corner of my living room with said uppers.
No, the unclear part is March. How have I landed in March? Months seemed to have evaporated, and I’ve let weeks slip through my fingertips, neglecting this blog, which by extension, means neglecting myself. With The Grains has always felt like an appendage, like a well worn, coffee-stained journal. Lately, it has felt like the journal had been lost to the tumbleweeds under the bed, a fur and dust buried memory. RIP.
At its core, With The Grains serves as a barometer of my “me” time. I don’t write for SEO (as the spam emails feel the need to reiterate for me on the regular). I don’t shoot these photos for a weekly Instagram quota. Instead, the blog is a creative outlet that holds me accountable. Am I expressing myself? Am I sharing time with others? Am I releasing the thoughts and stories in my head? Are there thoughts and stories in my head? Or, am I suffering from a full plate, a crowded mind, and a serious case of overwhelm?
Much of my winter was spent traveling as part of the Eat Your Feelings book tour. It was a refreshing blur of West Coast cities, sunshine, and that blue-gray Pacific mist, which I have yet to mentally unpack. The hiatus concentrated all my energy into traveling and postponed the thoughts, goals and looming questions that normally gurgle around New Year’s Eve.
But in the midst of this manic March, those sentiments have emerged in full force. Where do I want to take my career? Where do I see myself in 3-5 years? Can I bake good gluten free bread? Do I need to eliminate shampoo from my life? And in the most typical Quelcy fashion, can I do all of these things at once? Very simply, no. No, I can’t change and accomplish everything overnight, but damn if I don’t constantly try to prove I can.
This is all to say [mostly to myself], I’m here, I’m human, and sometimes I just need to shed a few tears, release the overwhelm, buy myself my favorite flower and walk my dog because if this blog is my “me time” barometer, Julep is my zen guru. There’s more to come, more recipes to share, but it may take a little while.
What about you? How do you remind yourself Rome wasn’t built in a day while still stubbornly trying to build Rome in a day?